Humor File

            Viagra was just the beginning.  Check out these new wonder drugs, coming soon to a pharmacy near you.

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost,
compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge  to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and  "little accidents."

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug  for only two days. Still to be seen:  whether the drug can be continued
for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids.  Special bonus:  Dosage can be doubled for long
car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).  Expecially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note:  Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into "special  prosecutors."

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs.  Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.


NEGA-BYTEAGRA:  A wonder drug that causes men to use home computers only
when it was absolutely required for important housefold functions, like
complex tax returns, monthly budgets, printing out the family kitchen
menu database so that they could hand-transcribe it to 3 X 5 notecards,
and emailing in-laws about important health matters involving their
partner.  Unexpected side effects- the motivations seems to extend to
all uses of technology, causing men to refuse to operate power mowers,
mechanical pencils, or teach their children how to play with erector
sets.  In one clinical trial, an engineer in the experimental group
changed careers and now teaches primitive survival skills to societal
drop-outs in Lincoln, Montana.

MS-AGRA(vation):  This medication, when tested on software programmers,
had the surprising result of increasing the efficiency and quality of
their software code.  In one test, a control group was able to reduce
the size of the popular Windows 95 operating system to a kernal size of
155 KB requiring a total hard drive space of 10 MB.  The test system the
OS is running on has not crashed in over 5000 hours of continuous
operation.  Marketers are actually considering a name change to UNIXGRA.
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