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ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS: ----------------------------------------------------------------- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Cover me. I'm changing lanes. ----------------------------------------------------------------- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep ----------------------------------------------------------------- I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather ... .. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ----------------------------------------------------------------- The gene pool could use a little chlorine. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT! ----------------------------------------------------------------- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you. ----------------------------------------------------------------- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. ----------------------------------------------------------------- I took an IQ test and the results were negative. ----------------------------------------------------------------- When there's a will, I want to be in it! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Visualize Using Your Turn Signal ! ----------------------------------------------------------------- Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Give me ambiguity or give me something else. ----------------------------------------------------------------- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. ----------------------------------------------------------------- He who laughs last thinks slowest ----------------------------------------------------------------- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. ----------------------------------------------------------------- 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Happiness is a belt-fed weapon --------------------------------------------------------------------- We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? --------------------------------------------------------------------- I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

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