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umor File
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Overheard at the lunch counter . . . In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, it seems that Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and former Vice President Dan Quayle were taking a road trip together (Ted Kennedy wanted to come along too, but he insisted on driving and was thus left behind). They were last seen headed west on I-70. Suddenly, a tornado touched down right on top of the politicians' car. The car was sucked into the air and disappeared almost immediately. Rumor has it that when the tornado dissapated, Bill, Newt, and Dan were surrounded by lush green fields, lions and tigers and bears, small human beings with lollipops, fairies, and that I-70 had suddenly become brick-paved and had taken on a yellow hue. Dan Quayle looked around bewildered and exclaimed, "Gee, Newto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." It was true--the trio found themselves in the land of Oz. "Baum-er," Gingrich quipped, after which Clinton immediately elbowed him in the ribs. "Well, I guess we'd better go see the Wizard," said Quayle. Having a broken axle and a pair of striped nylons caught in the transmission, the others nodded their agreement and proceeded down the amber roadway. Dan Quayle could hardly contain himself. He skipped happily along the way, exclaiming, "I'm gonna ask the Wizard for a new brain." Clinton and Gingrich nodded in agreement, each thinking that this was a wise request. Quayle then turned to Gingrich, "What are you gonna ask the Wizard for, Newto?" Gingrich thought a moment, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a new heart." Quayle thought to himself that a new harte would, indeed, be a benevolent gift. Suddenly, Quayle and Gingrich realize that Slick Willie was no longer with them. They glanced back and saw Clinton approximately 500 yards behind them. He seemed distracted; he was dawdling about, peering into the bushes and undergrowth. The other two ran back to Clinton. "Bill, what's the hold-up?" Gingrich asked. "Yeah! Don't you want to ask the Wizard for something?" chimed-in Quayle. "Wizard?" Clinton exclaimed. "What Wizard? Where's Dorothy?"
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