Humor File

            An elderly Jewish lady is leaving the garment district to go home from work. Suddenly a man who has been walking towards her,  stands in front of her, blocks  her path, opens up his raincoat and flashes her. Unruffled she takes a look and remarks,  "This you call a lining?"
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Jewish View on When Life Begins

There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins.  In
Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until
after graduation from medical school.
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An old Jewish man was dying in the hospital.  His family - wife, children,
grandchildren - came to see him but only one was allowed in the room at a
time.

Grandson Ben went in first.
"Hello, Grampa Moishe.  Can I do something for you?"
"Yes," said Grampa Moishe.  Go tell Gramma Sadie I want some of her chopped
liver.
Ben went out and told Gramma Sadie, who said, "Go tell Grampa Moishe he
can't have any chopped liver.  It would kill him."
Ben went back in and reported.  "You tell Gramma  Sadie I want the chopped
liver.  I'm dying anyway and it won't make any difference."
Ben went and told Gramma Sadie, who said, "Go tell Grampa Moishe he can't
have any.  The chopped liver is for the shiva."
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A man called his mother in Florida. He said to his mother, "How are you
doing?"
She said, "Not too good. I've been very weak."
The son then asked, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son then asked, "How come you haven't eaten in 38 days.?"
She said, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food when you
called."
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